When experiencing loss, the holidays may not feel like a joyous time. Many experience a sense of loneliness, sadness, or dread during a time they used to feel happy and connected. There is no “right way” to grieve, and grief does not follow a specific timeline. Know that you are not alone, and there is support available through family, friends, and therapy. Here are 5 suggestions for taking care of yourself during the holidays.
Give Yourself Compassion
Give yourself permission to cry, be angry, or experience whatever feeling comes up during this emotional time. Try to limit comparing your grief journey to others. No grief is the same! Give yourself love and empathy by swapping negative self-talk for self-compassionate thoughts.
Negative Self-Talk
“I should be over this by now.”
“Everyone else seems to have it together besides me.”
“No one is going to want me around at Christmas if I am sad. I don’t want to ruin it for everyone else.”
Self-compassion
“I miss my loved one, and grieving takes time. I will take this one day at a time.”
“I am not alone in my hurt and sadness.”
“My family and friends love me even when I don’t feel cheerful or joyful.”
Recharge Your Emotional Battery
Practice forms of self-care to recharge your emotional battery. Whether it is watching your favorite holiday movie, trying a new recipe, or sitting in a warm blanket with a good book, these moments give us rest and recharge. It is easier to navigate changes and setbacks when we are regularly investing in our emotional wellbeing.
Honor Old Traditions and Make New Ones
Things will feel different without your loved one, but you are allowed to celebrate old traditions. Maybe you want to honor your loved one with a new tradition of sharing a favorite memory at dinner or listening to their favorite Christmas song together. You can continue the traditions you love and add new ones.
Identify New Holiday Roles Beforehand
If your deceased loved one always had a specific role (grandma cut the Turkey, uncle handed out the presents), identify who will complete that task beforehand. This can help things feel more seamless in the moment. You can make sure that the person feels comfortable taking over the role rather than feeling pressured in the moment.
Ask For Support When Needed
It is okay to tell people in your life when you are overwhelmed and need support. If you need to take a step back from holiday responsibilities this year or need assistance completing them, ask for that help! Being vulnerable often opens doors to genuine connection and understanding. Therapy is a great option for extra support during the holiday season to process complicated feelings and create a plan to navigate specific challenges.
Remember, you are grieving because you loved someone. The love does not disappear when that person passes away. Give yourself permission to sit with both love and grief. Southeast Psych Nashville has a team of incredibly skilled, highly empathetic therapists who can be helpful to you or a loved one of any age. If you are in the Nashville-Brentwood-Franklin area and you or someone you love could benefit from our help, we would love to support you during this time—and any time of year. You don’t have to do this journey alone!
